Remembering Child-Like Curiosity...

I remember when I was a child I was curious about life. I wanted to know how the world worked.

As a consequence, I was always outdoors exploring.

From the time I woke up and had my breakfast, I would tell my mother that I would be back later, and off I would dash to explore what I could in my area of the world of which I was permitted play.

But, I was exploring. I remained curious and interested in the things and people around me. Then when I got married, it was about taking our relationship to the next level, and all sense of play and curiosity was over for all practical purposes.

I stopped questioning and started accusing.

Why are you doing things that way?

What do you mean about that?

My questions were not one of being interested, but figuring it out to see if it was part of my agenda, and if not, then how can I shut it down so that it does not threaten me, as in my identity.

What I was doing was failing to see the beauty in remaining open to learning about this wonderful person with whom I chose to spend my time on this journey I call my life.

By realizing that I was cutting myself off from learning about this fabulous and wonderful person, I had disconnected myself from qualities I had enjoyed and cultivated as a child…curiosity!

to be continued...

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Stormy Relationships Bear Many Gifts

We are often baffled, shocked, and sometimes knocked off our center when we find ourselves in a “storm” in our relationships with the people we care about. I say our relationships because although going through a storm in a romantic relationship can be daunting or “take it out of us,” going through a storm in our intimate relationships can be far more painful then it seems.

Here is an idea! I recommend we reframe how we hold our “stormy” relationships. It is my experience that my stormiest relationships have been my biggest life lessons, and opportunities to grow more compassionately towards myself and others with whom I am in the storm. These kinds of relationships often allow me to deepen in the area of intimacy. By reframing our stormy relationships we are able to set the other person, including ourselves, free to experience the rich messiness, and juiciness of which relationships are made.

Stormy relationships help us to know that we are alive! Now, make no mistake, I do not mean high drama, take no responsibility type relationships. I mean stormy relationships where there is some level of transformation once you clear the storm.

My husband and I are just coming out of a storm in our relationship. When we met, he lived in New Jersey, and I lived in Los Angeles. Whenever, we wanted to see each other, he or I would jump on an airplane to visit the other. I was a flight attendant for a major airline so it made it easy for both of us to travel. Well, that arrangement worked for us because we both had full, productive lives, making many wonderful things happen in the world.

Well, there was a bit of a storm when we decided to relocate the headquarters of our partnership to LA, creating shared space. What were we thinking? Well, that storm supported us in creating loving, healthy boundaries for ourselves and the health of our relationship. In fact, that storm moved our relationship forward. Then, we experienced another storm of a similar nature, when I chose to leave my career as a flight attendant to pursue a Ph.D. in Depth Psychology with husband in tow. Well, the tension that has been brewing since I have been home has tested both of us to no end, and I have to say we are still in process.

But, I would like to emphasize the storm we are coming out of is leaving us with some wonderful rich gifts to enjoy as we deepen our Couplehood. I am learning to lovingly hear my husband’s contributions to me. He now is able to appreciate me on a level that only a deep abiding love can foster. We have strengthened our commitment to our relationship, giving each other the opportunity to choose into the relationship, daily. The storms in my marriage have been my most blessed gifts!

The nature of our being is in weathering the storms of life and strengthening on all levels. Human beings are likened to an oak tree. We are strong, sturdy, and can take our hits from nature. The storms in our relationships strengthen us and deepen our roots to live, love, and laugh our way to brighter moments.

For more information about creating authentic loving relationships visit http://www.melvinandsherrie.com/ for a schedule of our upcoming relationship seminars.