What does it mean to stay in the feminine energy as a woman when dating?

To stay in the feminine is to first make sure you are not initiating a relationship with a man, and especially a man with whom you are interested in pursuing a long-term committed relationship. If a man is interested in having a relationship with you, nothing and no one will stop him from getting to know you, and making you his girl. The masculine will move heaven and earth to make sure you know that he is interested.

To stay in the feminine is to check your energy and make sure you are not the one pursuing the relationship. Today's women work in both the masculine and feminine energies, especially when they "bring home the bacon”. As a woman, when you are bringing home the bacon, and frying it up in a pan, many times women often drop out the part of the jingle that says "and never let him forget he's a man." This is where a woman needs to transition into her feminine, and allow the man to be the man in the relationship. If not, your relationship becomes doomed!

One way to check if you have moved out of the feminine is to check to see if you are pursuing him. Are you calling and texting the majority of the time? Are you the one always leaving messages without giving the guy time to think about you, miss you, or call you? Have you taken over his role, and you are now acting like the MAN in the relationship? My experience is that many modern career women become very aggressive, leaving no time for a man to miss you, and pursue the relationship in his own time. If a man is interested, he will do the work. You only need to be amazingly irresistible and wonderfully feminine. As Dr. Pat Allen posits in Getting To I Do, masculine men love femininity!

To stay in the feminine means to allow the guy to contribute to you, without you doing more for him than he is doing for you, or “trumping” him. Trumping someone means to outdo them. For example, he buys you dinner, and you reciprocate by paying for a weekend getaway to Las Vegas. Do not spend more money on him than he can afford to spend on you, especially while you are in the courtship phase of the relationship. Do not drive if he wants to pick you up (once you are at that stage of the relationship). Allow him to pay the check and even the tip in the beginning of the relationship. After you are in a declared long-term committed monogamous relationship you can begin to offer to pay for some of the meals, or leave the tip. Do not pull out your credit card because you have a concern about your worth. Work on your worth and let him put his money into you. Let him open the door for you, all doors, and simply say, thank you, in a tender and appreciative expression. Allison Armstrong, founder of Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women, refers to this as being “voluntarily vulnerable”. It is your ability to choose to be vulnerable when you know you can perform the same task yourself without the help of a man. It is allowing men to contribute to you.

Additionally, watch to see what he can afford and decide if he is the man for you. If he takes you to TGI Friday’s, that is his budget. Do not say, "Let's meet at the Montage Hotel for drinks, and "it’s on me!" You will trump him and he will not pursue a relationship with you as the masculine. He might pursue a relationship with you as a narcissist, but not the masculine. The relationship will be reduced to a recreational one, but not a long-term commitment. Men have an idea about whether they can afford you or not. Trust them! They know what they are doing. If a man wants you to pick him up, pay for lunch, or have you text and call him, then, more than likely, he wants to be the feminine or he is a narcissist in the relationship. In any case, he is not a match for you, especially if you are choosing to be the feminine in your relationship.

Staying in the feminine is about being aware of the energy you are putting out at all times, and staying true to your desire to be cherished and treated as the feminine in the relationship. The feminine receives, allows, and is cherished. The masculine gives, provides, and is respected. Both are important energies in a relationship. Choose which one you prefer and honor it! It does not work in relationships for you to be both the feminine and the masculine. You are being a narcissist.

Also, I recommend that you do not enter a budding relationship with the primary mode of communication being texting, especially if you are interested in having a long-term committed relationship with a particular man. In today's dating world, texting without direct connection gets men and women, who are afraid of commitment, off the hook. If they can get their mental and emotional needs met through a quick text then there is no real need to risk being vulnerable and reaching out to connect with you face-to-face or over the phone. I have coached many women, and my observation is that you will regret it in the end when the relationship is reduced to text messages.

Finally, this coaching applies to the world of dating and initial mating. I would have different coaching for a married couple that already has a system of relating in place. Couples move in and out of the masculine and feminine in undeclared negotiated ways. Different scenario...

You're Invited to a Special Private Event!

You Are Cordially Invited to a Private Event!

Relationship Readiness Program Introduction
For the Spiritually Conscious

Thursday, September 3, 2009
7-9 PM
Beverly Hills, CA

RSVP Requested!

Coming up soon:
Discover What You Don't Know that
You Don't Know About Relationships!
&
What You Can Do About It!

Our Next Relationship Readiness Programs

Saturday and Sunday
September 19-20, 2009
October 17-18, 2009
Beverly Hills, CA

click here for more information and to register!

For this Thursday's event, you must RSVP!
Call for parking info & directions

Melvin 310-247-2733
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6 PM PST/ 9 PM EST

"We are committed to increasing your relationship IQ"

Listening Skills Important for the New Relationship Era

What can be done to decrease the divorce rate, reduce the number of single female parents and enhance our ability to relate to our partners?

There are six ways to create relationships for the New Era and these include selection, acceptance, communication, education, commitment and change in consciousness.

Today I'll talk a bit about Education:

What would it be like if schools taught children how to listen as well as how to read and write?
Listening is more important than speaking, since over 60% of all communication is through body language.

No one is really listening: they are judging, interpreting and figuring out what they're going to say before you finish, if you finish at all.

Interpersonal skills are eroding with the advent of technology, emails, and texting.

What are your thoughts on this subject? I would love to hear them. Post your comments below - just click on the word "comments".

And subscribe to this blog so you don't miss the rest of this series! Click on the link(s) on the upper right side of this page.

Visit our website for your FREE audio and to learn about our upcoming programs!

Communication in the Era of Relationship Transformation!

We are in the “Relationship Transformation Era.” How would you design a relationship for the next 25 years? What can be done to decrease the divorce rate, reduce the number of single female parents and enhance our ability to relate to our partners? We're addressing six ways you can do this and they include selection, acceptance, communication, education, commitment and change in consciousness.

Today, I will talk a bit about communication...

Communication

Most people focus on talking; very few are authentic and active listeners.

We can only hear through our biases and interpretations of life.

We see and understand life in our own unique way; no two people see life exactly same way, not even twins.

It takes work and skill to be a heartfelt listener who is more interested in validation and empathy than interpretation and judgment.

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Are you a good communicator? What are your thoughts on relationship communication? We would love to know! Post your comments below...

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Selection - Part Two of Designing a Relationship for the 2010 Era

The next part of designing a relationship for the New Era is: Acceptance

We all see life differently; we're always attempting to show our partners how life looks from our vantage point.

The problem is our partners can't see our lives with their glasses, most of them can only see their worlds with their own glasses.

The solution is to have someone who is willing to see you with your glasses.

Anyone who is interested and committed to seeing, and hearing your story, viewpoint, or interpretation of life is a gift.

And are you willing to see your partner's life through their glasses?

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Our next FREE teleseminar is based on Six ways to Design a Relationship for the Next 25 Years: "Birthing the Relationship Transformation Era".

This is held over the phone, so you can attend from anywhere in the world!

This teleseminar will be on Monday July 27, 2009, at 6:00 PM Pacific / 9:00 PM Eastern

To get more information, click here!

We hope to "see" you there! This call will be recorded, so make sure you sign up today!

Selection - Part One of Designing a Relationship for the 2010 Era

As I mentioned last time, the six ways to Design a Relationship for the next 25 years include selection, acceptance, communication, education, commitment and change in consciousness.

Today we will discuss Selection ...

I believe women will improve their selection process out of necessity and their desire to decrease the number of failed relationships.

Women have the ability to say yes or no to every relationship and since men are not the emotional gatekeepers, it is up to women to change the future of relationships.

Women are committed to having successful relationships, which is demonstrated in their attendant in seminars, churches and personal growth and development workshops.

They are the first to suggest therapist, counseling, or coaching.

In comparing a relationship to a house, men are focused on the mortgage and maintenance of the house, while women are focused on the interior aesthetics, or the details of the home.

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Our next FREE teleseminar is based on Six ways to Design a Relationship for the Next 25 Years: "Birthing the Relationship Transformation Era".

This is held over the phone, so you can attend from anywhere in the world!

This teleseminar will be on Monday July 27, 2009, at 6:00 PM Pacific / 9:00 PM Eastern

To get more information, click here!

We hope to "see" you there! This call will be recorded, so make sure you sign up today!

We are in the Relationship Transformation Era!

We are in the “Relationship Transformation Era.”

How would you design a relationship for the next 25 years? It is suggested that people will live to be 125 years old; the average person will get married and divorced three times before having a successful relationship.

The average age of a person who will find true love...75 years old! In the future, relationship partners will be sorted, selected, and delivered via the Internet or ordered on EBay.

What can be done to decrease the divorce rate, reduce the number of single female parents and enhance our ability to relate to our partners?

The six ways include selection, acceptance, communication, education, commitment and change in consciousness.

I'll be discussing these six ways individually over the next two weeks, so subscribe to this blog to make sure you receive every bit of this valuable information!

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Our next FREE teleseminar is based on Six ways to Design a Relationship for the Next 25 Years: "Birthing the Relationship Transformation Era".

This is held over the phone, so you can attend from anywhere in the world!

This teleseminar will be on Monday July 27, 2009, at 6:00 PM Pacific / 9:00 PM Eastern

To get more information, please contact us!

We hope to "see" you there! This call will be recorded, so please sign up today!